This week I’m on a desperately needed vacation with time away from my desk so I’ll make this short and sweet.

One of the most common frustrations I hear from parents is their teen won’t do their schoolwork, like doesn’t even try, and worse yet, they don’t seem to care.

You’re so frustrated and dumbfounded that your teen won’t even try, because it doesn’t make any sense, and nothing you’ve tried is working.

I was your teen.

I stopped trying in my grade 11 year and skipped almost every Monday that year, going from straight As to Fs and refusing to ask for or accept help. I remember that year so clearly and I’m here to tell you your teen isn’t lazy, and they do care.

Let’s cut to the chase.

Below is a segment of a webinar I was part of last November for parents of teens who were struggling in the traditional school system. As usual, I said exactly what I think and shared what parents can do to be part of the solution.


12:00 – why setting expectations around grades with your teen makes the problem worse

13:50 – the truth about motivation

15:45 – why your teen won’t ask for help

21:52 – how you unknowingly become part of the problem

23:55 – the truth about expectations

27:30 – the problem with focusing on WHAT your teen is doing and not getting curious about WHY they’re doing it

33:12 – how to support your teen through this difficult time

39:20 – so I just let them fail?

Here’s 4 related articles explaining exact steps you can take to be your teen’s ally and advocate rather than judge and jury, why your teen refuses to try and my personal story of what you don’t see going on inside your teen.

12 Tips for Back To School Success

Apathy is a Coping Strategy

Your Teen Won’t Try if it’s Not Safe to Fail

10 Ways to Build Your Teen’s Confidence

Remember this – when you see your teen’s internal struggle as defiance and laziness, you can’t be the support they need, and the problem gets worse.

Join the conversation with other caring parents in my FREE parenting community on Facebook and get more perspectives, tips and strategies to help your teen find success on their terms.

(Be sure to answer the membership questions and agree to the group and admin rules.)

You don’t have to do this alone.

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