However, continuing to enable your teen by overcompensating sets them and their future relationships up to fail. 

Whoa! That’s a little harsh! 

Hear me out. 

Everything you do for your teen now is showing them what’s normal and what to expect in future relationships whether that’s a roommate at college or a future partner. The more you do now, the more your teen expects those people to do the same. 

Who’s training who? 

In my last 5 Day Challenge, one parent said this… 

“I realize now our oldest daughter had me well trained but then we broke the cycle.” 

He was enabling and rescuing his daughter rather than finding a different approach to her reasoning and defiance. 

This is what we’ve said to our boys since they were young. 

“I will not look your future roommate/partner in the eye, throw up my hands and say, ‘I did the best I could, good luck!’ “ 

Now that our boys are older and living at college and with friends who live on their own, they know EXACTLY what I’m talking about, and who NOT to choose as a roommate, LOL! 

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! 

Restarting the power struggle or pissing match is exhausting and pointless and so is throwing up your hands in defeat, ‘Well, at least I tried’, pretending your resentment isn’t growing daily. 

Helping is demonstrating love and kindness. That’s a parent’s job! 

Helping is one thing. Consistently doing things for your teen because they don’t or won’t likely puts your motive in one of these categories: 

  1. You’re avoiding the circular and exhausting conflict. 

  1. You get things done the way you want (fellow control freak here!). 

  1. You feel important and needed which affirms your worth. 

  1. You don’t value or respect yourself enough to say NO and mean it. 

This isn’t a phase. Your teen’s brain is literally growing to accommodate critical analysis, problem solving, processing complex emotions and much more. Forging a new relationship with their new brain isn’t as hard when you have proven, simple tools and strategies. 

Register for my FREE masterclass below and learn how to transform your moody, hormonal teen into a compliant, respectful human without the daily nagging or punishments.