This takes emotional reactions to a new level! Setting limits and saying ‘No’ to your reactive teen WITHOUT the massive blow up, fit throwing or damaging property in the process is possible……when you understand a few key things first.
The Boundary Block
The dilemma lies in the necessity of saying “no” – an essential part of boundary-setting and child development with healthy limits and teaching basic responsibilities. However, when you’re faced with the explosive reactions from your teen where they damage property, threaten you or even cause harm, it’s normal to back down from fear. You’re left in a confusing mix of frustration and concern so trying to introduce or enforce any boundaries becomes a tightrope walk with some scary results. Even when you’re trying to empathize with your teen’s brain renovation, you want your teen to be clear about where you stand, not wishy washy so they walk all over you like a doormat.
Is this really defiance?
The teen brain is already hypersensitive and almost always in a mild state of fight or flight because of their developing brain’s increased capacity for emotions – 4.5x more!
Although it seems intuitive to shut down your teen’s tantrum and hold your hard NO, this only makes this worse and they aren’t actually hearing you anyway.
In this video I’ll explain:
1) Why some teens fly off the handle when they hear NO and it has nothing to do with entitlement.
2) The 3 specific steps to set a clear boundary that don’t start with saying NO, or require you to give in.
3) Why connecting as you correct helps your teen stay calm and hear what you’re saying, even when they don’t like it.
For many parents these escalations are very real, and they have repair bills and replacement costs in the thousands to show for it. Of course, reaching out for help and sharing the truth of what’s happening inside their home is unimaginable because of the shame and judgement coming from all angles.
This is just one of the parenting challenges I support caring and courageous parents to navigate in my private parenting community–a 100% judgement free and safe space.
“We’ve taken steps toward a more compassionate and respectful relationship where conflict is reduced and the house is a lot calmer.”
“We’re all calmer, more at peace and respectful with simple tools to work through things.”
If you’re looking for answers and proven strategies to get started right now, register for my free masterclass below.
You’re not failing and you’re not alone in this journey. By embracing science-backed strategies, you can feel safer and calmer with your teen while setting clear and necessary boundaries.
I believe in you,