I had a conversation yesterday with a caring mom who’s feeling at her wits end trying to get her son to give a crap about her boundaries.
She wants connection over control with her son (while still being the parent) and has done her internal work to know why this boundary is important to her and where her line of feeling respected is without commanding compliance.
Then the wheels fell off.
Although you think your request is clear, it’s likely missing one key part, like a sentence without a period, which is why your teen ignores you no matter how nicely you ask. Then you feel disrespected and unheard, so you start the reminding and nagging which quickly becomes…
BEGGING!
This is what asking over and over sounds like as your teen learns not to take you seriously and there’s no real consequence, even if you lose your sh*t or take their phone for a while (if you’ve been here for a hot minute, you know those don’t work to create lasting behaviour change).
And rescuing your teen by doing the task for them ‘because it HAS to get done’ and ‘is affecting the whole family’ is teaching your teen you don’t mean what you say.
Breaking the cycle = intention + knowledge
Amazing parents like you wanting to move away from authoritarian parenting and have inadvertently ended up in permissive parenting because you were never told the TRUTH about what a boundary really is and the necessary, simple steps to make them stick.
This is not about your intelligence or worth as a parent! I didn’t know this stuff either until I went back to school to become a Certified Life Coach and Certified Relationship Systems Coach and my sons were 3 and 5 years old.
In this video I’ll share:
1) Why having the right words is only 1/2 the equation
2) Why feeling like a good parent is undermining your efforts
3) Why ensuring your teen becomes a successful human is actually why they’re failing
4) Plus, the one action you can take to turn this all around.
Watch the full video now and leave your insights and thoughts in the comments.
You don’t have to do this alone
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Let’s do this together,
