I can hear the collective groan as schools reopen and your emotional load balloons faster than your grocery bill in the last 18 months.

UGH! 😩

Summer was NOT enough of a break from:

  • making lunches they hate or don’t eat because ā€˜there’s nothing good to eat in the house’
  • waking your teen up from a slumber deeper than the dead to be on time for school they don’t care about anyway
  • checking homework and handing in assignments because procrastination is an elite sport and they can’t seem to remember basic instructions
  • monitoring screen time so they do something productive and experience life beyond their bedroom door

Then there’s sports, clubs, and other activities added to your colour coded calendar as you google ā€˜how to clone yourself’.

All this when your teenager’s moods are a daily roller coaster and perimenopause is playing with your hormones so managing the emotional load and getting a solid sleep feel harder. 😩

ā€œMaybe if you slowed down you wouldn’t be so stressedā€ (insert self righteous tone from the ā€˜perfect’ mom or ā€˜loving’ family member)

I wanted to throat punch people who said such insensitive comments without any understanding of my life, yelling,…

ā€œYou have no idea how much I have on my plate! I dare you to try and do it better.ā€

Yet just below my anger, I was asking, ā€œWhy can’t anyone see how hard this is? Why can’t anyone see me?ā€ 🄺

And below that, my truth that lived only in my head and never dared to speak, yet slipped out through tears while alone in my car or at night on my pillow,…

ā€œI’m hanging on by my fingernails. I’m exhausted to the bone, my eyes are burning and my head is screaming for quiet and rest.ā€

I desperately wanted to rest, I just didn’t know how.

I believed over-functioning, performing, and productivity was normal šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø, the price of admission for being a worthy human to earn approval and acceptance.…

 … prioritizing everyone and everything above myself because that made me selfless

… saying YES to everything and everyone because I was a caring, fun friend

… driving myself past my limits so I was useful, helpful, purposeful with my time

BUSY was my badge of honor, as if the number of tasks I crammed in a day made me lovable… enough.

The problem isn’t your calendar, it’s your construct of how life is supposed to be.

All the crazy, unsustainable expectations of how you’re supposed to be a woman, a wife, a mom, how you keep your home, your career, your car… plus everything your teen says and does in their education, activities, online, social life.

It’s sucking the life out of you so you’re not the person or parent you want to be.

You lack patience, compassion, and perspective so it’s harder to be the regulated voice of reason in your teen’s emotional storm.

And here’s the worst part…

As I was preaching self care to my teens – getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, time management, setting priorities, etc., I was modelling the opposite – over-functioning and exhausted as normal…. because they do what you do, not what you say.Ā 

Oh snap šŸ™„šŸ™‹šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸŽÆ

Baby stepping into self care and slowing down.

The thought of doing less made me anxious and panicky because my entire identity was tangled in external markers, so I started with slowing my mind first.

  • 3-5 minutes/day of slow, deep breaths
  • Sit outside in the morning sun for 3 minutes with my breakfast or smoothie
  • Go for short walks instead of working out
  • Laying down with my eyes closed for 5-10 minutes during the day, and even napping
  • Turn off technology an hour before bed to lower blue light stimulation
  • Listen to calming music or meditation apps while getting ready for bed
  • Get to bed 15 minutes earlier and journal all the things in my head
  • Stretch for 5 minutes before bed
  • Go to yoga classes instead of Zumba

I started with one thing for 5 minutes/day,… and my brain LOVED it, craving more!

Every few weeks I’d add another 5 minutes of self-care. Then my body started feeling calmer, I was less reactive, sleeping better, and doing less felt easier. Guess what else happened?

My teens started taking better care of themselves without my reminders, because…

… they do what you do, not what you say.

I see you. You’re doing the best you can but you never seem to get ahead or it’s never enough.

What if I told you there’s a safe community where your pain and struggles are welcomed and understood? A place you felt heard, encouraged, and empowered to feel calmer, more authentic, and more connected to yourself, and your teen?

Watch My Free Masterclass Now!

Find the community of your dreams and have me walk with you on this journey! Click below to select and time and I’ll see you there.

See you soon,

5a3aedde-e18e-4397-953a-df4a942ff007