Advocating for your teen with learning or behavior challenges is no small feat. If your child struggles with mental health issues, neurodiversity, or both, you’ve probably felt the emotional weight of explaining their needs, over and over, to teachers, administrators, or even family members.
Starting the process to get an assessment may feel like the light at the end of the tunnel, but here’s the hard truth: the journey doesn’t get easier—it just changes.
The Reality of Assessments and Diagnoses
The first step is the assessment, which should provide a clearer understanding of your teen’s brain and their needs. But this step alone can feel like climbing a mountain.
- Getting your teen on board: Many teens resist assessments, feeling like it confirms their deepest fears—they’re broken, weak, or unlovable.
- Finding an approved professional: Hours of research, endless phone calls, and waiting lists that stretch on for months—or even years.
- Unexpected costs: Assessments can cost thousands of dollars, straining budgets already stretched thin by everyday expenses.
When you finally get that report in hand, it can feel like a victory. You’re ready to advocate for your teen at school, pushing for accommodations or a learning plan. But…
… even with a diagnosis, the road can still be bumpy.
The Challenges of Advocacy
Not everyone will accept your teen’s diagnosis, especially when it doesn’t “show up” in ways educators expect or are familiar with. You may find yourself:
- Attending endless meetings to prove your case.
- Sending emails and making phone calls that go unanswered.
- Feeling dismissed as an overprotective parent.
The assessment or diagnosis isn’t a magic wand—it’s a tool. One that opens doors to conversations, but rarely guarantees results.
My Experience as a Parent
I’ve been in your shoes. My oldest son started this journey at 8 years old, and I’ve been advocating for him every step of the way for 15 years. Every grade, every new teacher, every new school… and now, as a young adult, his needs continue to evolve.
Just last week, I completed another 7-hour assessment with him at 23 years old to secure an Autism diagnosis recognized by the Canadian government. Even though he’s capable of advocating for himself, I had to provide detailed medical, developmental, and educational history he wasn’t old enough to remember.
Here’s what I’ve learned: advocacy is a lifelong journey. Your teen’s needs will shift as their brain develops, as they move through school, enter the workforce, and live more independently.
Tips to Keep Moving Forward
If you’re just beginning this process, here’s what I wish someone had told me:
- There’s no magic bullet. Assessments and diagnoses are valuable, but they’re just one piece of a long puzzle.
- Be patient with the process. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and expensive, but it’s also necessary to help your teen thrive.
- Find support for yourself. Whether it’s family, friends, a therapist, or a trusted confidant, you need a safe space to vent, snot cry, and regroup.
Most importantly, keep your teen in the loop. Share updates on progress or key outcomes without overwhelming them with every detail. Use affirming language to show you believe in them and their ability to succeed. Listen to their fears or reservations with empathy, and validate their feelings without trying to “fix” everything.
Tips to Keep Moving Forward
Parenting a teen with learning or behavior challenges can feel isolating and overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. My parenting program offers daily support directly from me, along with the proven tools to connect with your teen through anxiety, depression, learning challenges, substance use, and more.
As someone who’s personally struggled with those same challenges as a teen—and now as a parent with ADHD—I understand what your teen needs, even when they don’t know how to ask for it.
💡Join my program today and build the trust, connection, and respect to become your teen’s greatest ally to thrive and succeed in their unique way.
