My partner refuses to get on board

Imagine feeling fully supported by your partner while using similar strategies and aligned thinking to support your struggling teen to find their way. “I was going through a very rough patch with my son… His dad was ballistic, but I shared your videos and got him on board with staying curious and keeping the communication […]

The heartbreak of holidays with your teen

Got any plans with your teen for spring break? “She wants to talk to me, hang out with me, she’s laughing more, and even asking my advice.” – Nikki H. Over the holidays, I saw a lot of posts in my community from heartbroken, amazing, parents whose teenager or young adult had a very different […]

Why loving intentions aren’t enough

Breaking generational cycles with your teen, AND feeling happier and more fulfilled yourself, is exactly what parents in my programs experience. “I will forever be grateful for you and your message. By listening to you, I became aware of some issues from my childhood that are impacting my marriage and parenting. I am now seeing […]

Why motivating teens to care about school isn’t working

Navigating the choppy waters of teenage education can feel like steering a ship through a storm, especially when your teen seems disengaged and unmotivated at school. I’m Allie Payne, a certified life coach and relationship systems coach, and I’ve walked this path myself. From being a straight-A student to battling with my own academic performance, […]

Are you raising a lazy teen?

Ugh! It’s just easier to do it yourself, right? Having raised two sons, I know how frustrating and defeating it feels trying to get your teen to care or help with even the most basic task. Sometimes, it IS just easier (and faster) to do it yourself.  However, continuing to enable your teen by overcompensating sets them […]

Most days I was barely breathing

Happy New Year! Is it just me or does seeing and writing 2-0-2-4 feel futuristic? I mean, I remember when…. Good grief I’m getting old! 😂😬 Thank God I’m never too old to grow, learn, and heal. TLDR; scroll down to register for my LIVE Masterclass January 17th! I talk about emotional regulation a lot […]

My bruised arms gave it away…

This is a hard one. Please, please, equip yourself and read to the end rather than thinking it doesn’t apply to you. At 19 I found myself in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. It didn’t’ start that way, but a year in I was so broken I didn’t know how to get out. He […]

Preparing your teen for the real world

I’m seeing this conversation online again and having been deeply impacted myself, I want to address it. But first, I respect that you’re here. Every week (if you’re an OG, that’s over 3 years!) you’re reading my emails for nuggets of insight into your teen and tips to navigate these very real and difficult challenges. […]

The Art of Saying “No” …

This takes emotional reactions to a new level! Setting limits and saying ‘No’ to your reactive teen WITHOUT the massive blow up, fit throwing or damaging property in the process is possible……when you understand a few key things first. The Boundary Block The dilemma lies in the necessity of saying “no” – an essential part […]

Gentle Parenting creates lazy, entitled teens

You hear about it every day on social media. Parents and experts espousing this unachievable fantasy of raising a respectful teen without using generations old methods to teach your teen what’s right and wrong. (YOU: shaking your head) Pfft!! You’re thinking: “Good for you, whatever your name is. I’m raising my teen to succeed in […]