Last Friday, I thought I’d wake up excited, ready to celebrate. Instead, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably before breakfast. It felt like I was standing at the finish line of an emotional marathon, trying to process everything it took to get there.
My son, now 23, was graduating from post-secondary school with a diploma in Graphic and Web Design.
My tears weren’t just an overwhelming sense of pride, but the years of navigating his mental health challenges, including ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), his struggles with anxiety, and the constant uncertainty about what his future would hold.
The Early Years
From the time he was born, I knew he wasn’t like other children. He needed personal space—no snuggling, no swaddling. By age two, his anxiety attacks (I called them “software loops”) had started. He had a profound need for structure and a deep obsession with anything involving numbers. Unexpected changes or loud noises, like fire drills, could trigger his panic, and he’d cling to his teacher’s leg for comfort.
In preschool, his anxiety became more apparent, but teachers and professionals didn’t know how to support him. He was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and OCD tendencies—helpful, but incomplete which left me and him struggling through the daily fog and precarious balance of mental health challenges.
As his mother, I felt overwhelmed, navigating this on my own most days. Despite doing my best to equip his teachers with what I knew, it felt like no one truly understood him. Family gatherings were especially difficult, often resulting in his anxiety spiking and family members making judgmental remarks. His need for constant resetting often made him retreat to dark spaces like closets or laundry rooms to calm his nervous system.
School and the Dark Days
His early years in school were challenging, but high school was another level. He hated it. Despite his intelligence, school was a constant source of anxiety. His ADHD and perfectionism made assignments a torturous process, with every task taking twice as long. By 9 p.m., his anxiety would spike, often resulting in panic attacks. He missed out on time with friends, which only deepened his anger toward the world.
He refused medication, so I spent years researching natural supplements for anxiety and learning how to parent a child with an anxiety disorder. We eventually found a combination that softened his sharp emotional edges, but the journey was exhausting. As a parent of a neurodivergent child, I often felt isolated, constantly questioning how to support his potential when he couldn’t see past his own struggles.
The Turning Point
After high school, he was adamant about never going back to formal education, despite his nearly perfect grades. The structured environment that most people see as a gateway to success felt like a prison to him. Yet, after working minimum wage jobs for 3 years, he realized he wasn’t getting ahead and his mental health was deteriorating.
Finally, we sought more answers. A trip to the Amen Clinic provided more clarity—he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Generalized Anxiety, and Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). The relief that came with detailed understanding was immense, but the road ahead was still uncertain.
Graduation Day
That’s why last Friday hit so hard. When I saw him in his cap and gown, it felt surreal. The child who’d struggled so much with school and life had earned a diploma and, within a few months, had landed a job in his field. It was a day I thought might never come.
Seeing him standing there, proud and confident, was overwhelming. I had spent so many dark days wondering if he would make it through—if either of us would. There were days when his mental health was so fragile, I worried we wouldn’t get past it. The idea that he would ever find independence, let alone a career, felt like an impossible dream. And yet, there he was, proving both of us wrong.
There Is Hope
If you’re going through the exhausting, lonely journey of supporting a neurodivergent child, I see you. I know the weight of holding it all together, of wondering if your child will ever thrive, or even survive.
I know the pain of watching your child’s potential hidden behind a fog of frustration, and the hopelessness that sets in when it feels like no one understands.
Progress might be slow and it might look different than you imagined. Your child’s path won’t be the one you expected, but that doesn’t mean it’s not leading to something great. Don’t give up, and most importantly, don’t let expectations amplify disappointment or resentment erode connection.
Keep believing in your child and in yourself. The seemingly impossible is possible—even on the darkest days.
Whether you’re raising a neurodivergent child or navigating the ups and downs of the teen years, you’re not alone. Join my FREE community for expert tips, real-life strategies, and a compassionate community of parents who are all working to build deeper, more supportive connections with their teens. Let’s thrive together!
