The Empowered Parent Mastermind

HOW TO create a respectful, honest relationship with your teen WITHOUT bending over backwards, EVEN IF everything you’ve tried so far isn’t working…

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Does this sound familiar?

You’re exhausted and drained:

Trying to avoid your teen’s hormonal land mines AND manage everything else on your plate has you ready to throw up your hands and waive the white flag.

You’re frustrated and at your wits end:

Every day you go out of your way to be kind or help your teen in some way and you feel like you get crapped on. You feel used and taken for granted.

You’re sad and scared:

You miss your caring, loving child. You don’t understand who they’ve become, you can’t seem to reach them and the rejection is heartbreaking.

You’re feeling like a bad parent:

How did this happen? You’re doing everything you can without seeing any change, and still feel like a failure.

You’re not sure what the future holds:

What if your teen keeps going on this path? What if their unhealthy coping and negative influences drown out your voice of reason, creating lasting consequences?

You’re feeling angry:

You’re wondering, “Am I supposed to be ok with being treated so disrespectfully? When do I get to say it’s enough?” There’s either yelling or silence and you’re filled with resentment.

If any of this resonates with you, you’re in the right place.

Parenting Doesn’t Come With A Handbook…

Everywhere you look, you see unrealistic examples of what parenting “should” look like. Disney movies, classic sitcoms, even social media… all perpetuating a fairy-tale version of an unattainable standard. It’s hard not to compare yourself and feel like you’re falling short.

Parenting is the most consequential job you’ll ever have for which there’s ZERO training. No wonder it feels impossible!

There was no memo warning you of the massive growth and development about to take place in your teen’s brain, hijacking their emotions and turning them into someone you don’t know and some days, don’t like. So if you’re struggling with parenting your teen, the problem isn’t that you’re a failure, or a bad parent.

The problem is you’re working from an outdated model.

You’re Parenting How You Were Parented…

Your parents—God bless them—weren’t equipped with all we know today. Back then, they didn’t know about the teenage brain and healthy relationship dynamics. They were doing the best they could with the little information they had.

This outdated model was based on an industrial, military style that science has proven to be ineffective and sometimes harmful, even if “it worked for you” and “you turned out ok”. Without realizing it, you’re repeating what your parents taught you, and don’t understand why the relationship with your teen feels so hard.

You were raised to believe compliance equals respect, and a parent’s job is to hold power over their child via control rather than connection.

You worry about being too permissive and losing control, so you focus on changing your teen’s behaviour, all while missing the actual problem.

Focusing on controlling their behaviour is like trying to put out a fire by chasing the smoke.

Now we know there’s another way. Research has proven that emotional safety, meaningful conversations, and true belonging are three pillars to creating a healthy relationship and increasing influence with your teen without resorting to the control and compliance method.

It’s okay if you’re sceptical. Keep reading before deciding this isn’t for you.

What if you:

Felt needed → Your teen values your input and comes to you for help to overcome their challenges

Felt heard → Your teen does what you asked without the nagging and reminding, and even takes initiative

Had meaningful conversations → Your teen openly and calmly shares their thoughts and feelings to process what’s going on for them because they feel safe with you

Felt appreciated → Your teen recognizes and appreciates what you do for them sending emoji ‘love texts’, and responds to questions with more than one word

Heard positive comments → Other parents, teachers, and family compliment you on your teen’s character, communication skills and behaviour choices

Felt valued → Your teen is engaged with your family and spends quality time without feeling like it’s torture

This is possible! It all starts with understanding the three pillars.

You’ll Find Them Here…

Create Emotional Safety

Respond over react so you feel less stressed and exhausted
Manage your teen’s outbursts without fueling further conflict
Be a trusted advisor your teen feels safe to share with

Generate Meaningful Conversations

Use fewer words to get your point across before your teen tunes you out
Ask specific questions to better understand your teen and what’s driving their behaviour
Help your teen make better choices even if it’s not what you would do

Foster True Belonging

Accept your teen’s need to express their independence through their own developing values and beliefs without having them drive disconnection
Allow space for your teen to disagree even when their delivery leaves something to be desired
Learn to walk with your teen on their path, in their timing, in spite of the challenges that show up

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Hi, I’m Aly Pain

I know firsthand what it’s like to be a teen in a well-meaning family, all while feeling disconnected, unloved, and angry. I started using diet pills at 12, drinking at 13, skipping school at 15 and attempted suicide by 17, going from straight A’s to failing out.

I acted out in all sorts of ways, not knowing how to communicate my feelings or ask for what I needed in a way my family could hear me—my parents weren’t equipped to understand or help me.

I marched myself into therapy at 18 and spent decades learning to build confidence, find a sense of calm, and turn down the constant choir of negative messages in my head.

When I became a parent, I wanted our children to feel loved and celebrated, to be polite and compliant, and I never wanted to raise my voice or a hand. I basically wanted to be Mary Poppins……Then I realized, “Holy crap! This is hard!”

I was constantly dealing with anxiety and fear, wanting to control my children while expecting unattainable perfection and compliance. All this while dealing with a child who has diagnosed anxiety disorders at 8 years old.

It was during my Life and Relationship Systems Coaching Training that I finally learned how dysfunctional relationship patterns are created, AND how to untangle and heal from them. I took ownership of my pain rather than throwing it back at my parents and realized I was both part of the problem and the solution.

As I healed myself, I implemented tools that once felt complicated and awkward, becoming a healthy parent with a new level of awareness and skills. My relationship with our boys became easier and less frustrating with less need for consequences.

Our boys are now compassionate young men who lead with strong values. They’re confident in their abilities and supported with healthy friendships. They’re certainly not perfect, yet they take responsibility for their actions and clearly and respectfully communicate their thoughts and feelings. I’m proud of them and the relationships we’ve created.

Today, I’ve become a trusted guest expert for numerous publications and podcasts, including Breakfast Television Toronto, ABC Nightly News, What She Said Talk Radio, the New York Post online and most recently, The Rachael Ray Show.

I call on my experience, knowledge and education to empower families to effectively communicate and connect in healthy, lasting relationships without the emotional pain, conflict and trauma.

This process has been successful with so many parents over the last 15 years, and I know it can work for you too.

You’ve Been Asking Yourself The Wrong Question

Every single day parents ask me: “How do I motivate my teen?”

I’ve got bad news for you: no matter how hard you try, you can’t make your teen care about anything. Motivation is an inside job and only they can make the mental shift to prioritize school work, cleaning their room, etc.

The more you try to make your teen care about what’s important to you, the more they’ll resist even if it’s in their best interest. You’ll feel resentful and disappointed and your teen will feel judged and like a failure with less desire to try at all.

Maybe you’re thinking, “But I can’t trust my teen to do what’s required…if I don’t push and stay on top of them they’ll fail out, won’t get into good schools, won’t have a good job and will end up homeless, living under a bridge.”

Your fears are understandable, because you see your child’s potential and want what’s best for them!

Although it seems counterintuitive, supporting your teen to change rather than forcing change is key to creating the connection that gets you the result you wanted in the first place.

This doesn’t mean you’re solely responsible for what’s not working. You can be the leader in positive change without it being your fault things are the way they are. Blame serves no one—and waiting for your teen to change isn’t the answer. A u can do is adjust your part in the relationship and watch how your teen begins to shift as well.

This is a great place for the comment of ‘and waiting for your teen to change isn’t the answer’ or something

Adjusted this line

It Can’t Be That Easy… Can It?

Of course not! Nothing in parenting is easy, and I’ll never say this program is an “easy” solution, however it is a proven one. Your beliefs about parenting are deeply ingrained from childhood, and it can feel challenging to unlearn them.

It’s not impossible-–parents in my programs do it every day, and it only takes one person to change a relationship. The problem right now is you’re assuming that one person needs to be your teen.

But they’re the one acting out and being awful! Are you saying I’ve been parenting all wrong?

No! You’re doing the best you can with the information you’ve been given. Your child’s behaviour is never a reflection of your worth as a human being, and I don’t conflate parenting with morality. You get enough parent shaming in the world, so you won’t find it here. In the Empowered Parent Mastermind you’ll only find empathy, validation, and encouragement from me and your fellow participants, and a firm no “advice/you should…”’ policy.

Isn’t this teaching parents how to raise snowflakes? Sounds like my teen will have no rules, no accountability, and I'm supposed to give them whatever they want!

Not at all. That style of parenting is referred to as “permissive parenting,” where teens have little to no accountability or responsibility. Although I resist labels or categories, this program would fall under the respectful or gentle parenting genre. Teens will still experience boundaries, consequences and learn respectful communication and behaviour, but the emphasis is on building trust and understanding rather than creating more discipline (which never works).

I’m already exhausted, and it feels like I’ve tried everything. Why should I give more?

I hear you, I know what it feels like to think you have nothing left to give. This program is about shifting your thinking and using a new approach: connection over control. I’ll show you how to set healthy boundaries and limits so you don’t keep feeling like you have nothing left while your teen keeps taking.

Use code EARLYBIRD200 before midnight PST January 20th to save!

Don’t Take My Word For It:

Here are real stories from parents who’ve transformed their relationship with their teens using my proven strategies and tools.

Lacey S.

Somewhere along the line I got off track with my daughter. My daughter was falling fast into a dark place - sneaking out, lying, pot smoking, police waking me in the night, and a laundry list of poor decisions.

She was crying out for love and attention to escape the pain and had lost herself.

Then I remembered being 15, feeling misunderstood by the world. Everyone was focussing on the bad and how I’d fail so I started hiding from even my closest friends, numbing from life. I was telling my daughter who NOT to be, rather than encouraging her to find herself.

That day I changed.

I looked hard inside myself to heal my wounds and not hold them over my daughter’s head. I saw her self-destructive behaviour as a cry for help, not defiance against me. She needed me to show compassion and empathy with boundaries, not be the judge, jury, and authority figure constantly comparing her life to mine.

She looked at me the first few times like I was an alien!!

The change didn’t happen overnight. She still lied and hid things but when I approached her with empathy, respect, making an effort to understand instead of reacting she started to open up.

Fast forward 7 months – my daughter comes to me daily, asking me questions about what she’s feeling or thinking or situations. We have respectful boundaries with each other and take a break rather than letting conflict grow.

I’m so grateful for that day I started using the tools to help understand and connect with my teen.”

Want to know what Lacey’s daughter thinks?

(She personally thanked me during a Live session!)

“In the beginning when everything happened I felt unwanted, like I had to hide from life and wasn’t allowed an opinion on anything. I thought it was all my mom's fault and in retrospect it wasn’t. We've both worked on so much and I feel so welcomed in our home. I’m very happy everything has changed because we’d probably have no relationship if she hadn’t told me she was trying to communicate and do things differently.

S.'s Journey

My 12yo son recently got a changed diagnosis from MDD (major depressive disorder) and GAD (generalized anxiety) to BPD (bipolar personality disorder) with severe display of aggression/rage. He was avoiding school for months, not leaving his room, with regular anger and rage attacks directed initially at himself, then against family members. He had a video game addiction, was on the edge of suicidal and I was close to calling the police, twice. This was a new low in my life.

I was parenting with fear and anxiousness, wanting a certain outcome, and if that doesn’t happen, I felt like a failure…

The past months in The Empowered Parent Mastermind had prepared us to take advantage of changes and we had positive structures ready to catch my son.

9 months later, I’m slowly getting my son back (he was hiding in his bedroom for 6+ months ; could not even come out for mealtime)! He met with friends, started an exercise regime and said, in a half joking and half serious way, "I have to get my act together."

I learned that connection is critical. With connection he trusted me enough to GO to the psychiatrist, to TAKE the medication. I learned to generate an environment where he’s engaged, feels welcome and gets positive feedback and to create a village around me with the right people. I simply cannot do it by myself.

We’ve improved our connections dramatically by following Aly's program, openly discussing his mental health, and setting goals. We have open conversations and he sees a psychiatrist and a therapist, and he finds both helpful and learned to calm himself.

Before going through Aly's program, my son and I could absolutely NOT communicate. Now we talk every day, even on very bad days.

Your challenges may not be the same as Lacey and S’s, yet the transformation can be just as powerful. It starts with an open mind and checking your parenting ego at the door.

By The End Of The Program You’ll:

Rest better at night - Spend more time sleeping and less time up all night, worried about your teen’s safety alone and not sure where else to turn to find the answers you need to help your teen
Feel confident - Know how to meet your teen where they’re at with specific tools that actually work to create lasting behavioural change
Feel calmer - You’re less triggered by your teen’s outbursts and behaviours, with more mental and physical energy for the things you want to do
Have respectful conversations - Talk with your teen without feeling like you’re being ignored or stepping on landmines just by bringing up day to day topics.
Build trust - Although your teen is far from perfect, you trust them to make good decisions and stay safe (even if they’re not what you’d have done)
Have meaningful conversations - Even when it feels uncomfortable to hear, your teen comes to you with vulnerable questions and shares the things that matter
Feel appreciated - Your teen can see past themselves and pitches in around the house, even thanking you for things they’d previously taken for granted
Have influence - Know that your teen cares what you have to say and values your input to help them navigate their own life

Register Now!

The Empowered Parent Mastermind is my proven, step-by-step program in a supportive, judgement-free community where you’ll learn how to have a respectful, honest relationship with your teen, even if everything you’ve tried isn’t working.

Exactly What You’ll Get:

8 Transformational, online modules ($2,500 value)

Every Monday, you’ll access a new online module including a video, audio only and transcript, a downloadable worksheet, and additional resources covering the following topics:

Generational and parenting beliefs
Personality styles and love languages
Setting boundaries and holding consequences
Trust, lying, and forgiveness
Toxic communication and conflict resolution
Big emotions and mental health
Teen relationships, dating, and sex
Social media, gaming, and smartphones

12 Weeks Access to Private Client FB Community ($131 value)

The best conversations happen between sessions in my supportive and judgement free Facebook Group where you’ll hear from other caring parents and gain insight on what’s working (and what’s not). I’ll respond to your posts or questions daily so you get answers when you need them, plus I’ll be LIVE in this community twice each month to provide more detailed and personalized answers.

Weekly Zoom Q&A’s ($3,000 value)

During the program, you’re invited to 8 weekly LIVE Zoom calls with me and your cohort to deepen your understanding of the tools and how to apply them directly to your situation. You’ll feel celebrated in your wins, and encouraged in your struggles knowing you aren’t alone in a confidential, safe community.

24/7 Lifetime Access to Content & Resources ($2,000 value)

That’s right, it’s all yours for life! The teen years are a roller coaster with good days and hard ones. With lifetime access to ALL online content – modules, resources, and Zoom recordings, you’ll always have a place to come back to when things feel challenging, or when your younger children reach the teen years.

Workbook With Guided Exercises ($97 value)

No matter what you’re learning style is, I have you covered. The workbook has all the materials you need to follow along, deepen your learning, understand the tools and take notes. Your workbook becomes your personal resource whenever you need it.

Communication Flashcards & Tools ($97 value)

You’ll also receive additional tools and resources to help guide your communications during and after the program. These are fun, easy to understand and use to continue to foster positive change and growth in your relationship with your teen.

Personal Program Journal ($100 value)

Follow the program module by module to track important dates, all of your learning, insights, Zoom call questions and wins in one place.

Upgrade to VIP and Get:

Everything you see above, PLUS...

Private Voice and Text Access ($3000 value)

Real-time, private voice and text access to ask me questions and get personalized answers in the hard moments with your teen using a free app called Voxer. That means everyday through the full 8-week program you have direct access to ME! I’ll provide answers, tools and strategies as quickly as possible within business hours.

One-Hour Private Coaching Session ($209 value)

Get upgraded to a personal 60 minute session with me anytime within 90 days of the start of the program to unpack your learning, sift through challenges and get specific answers to help you move forward in your relationship with your teen.

Once you’ve developed this new skillset, the benefits last a lifetime. Even though the teen years don’t last forever, your relationship will because of the solid foundation you’ve created.

Is this for you?

WHO IS THIS PROGRAM FOR?

Caring parents who want their teen to be happy and succeed in life
Committed parents who are willing to try new things and know that change is a process
Compassionate Parents who understand that growing up now is very different than when they grew up
Courageous parents who are longing to open the communication channels with their teens

WHO THIS IS NOT FOR...

Parents who aren’t willing to examine their own choices, hear new information, or challenge their way of thinking
Parents who are afraid to try new concepts or “rock the boat” with their teen
Parents who just want to “fix” their teen and aren’t willing to put in the effort
Parents of teens dealing with active addiction or mental health challenges who aren’t currently being treated by a medical or mental health professional
Parents who believe their teenager is 100% responsible for the problems in the relationship

This program does not qualify as therapy or personal coaching. The Empowered Parent Mastermind is a group program for caring and courageous parents wanting to create meaningful connection and a healthy relationship with their teens. This program is not specific to any neurodivergence such as ADHD, ASD, ODD, etc., and is not a substitute for addiction therapy or substance use intervention.

No More Wondering… “Is This As Good As It Gets?”

You can keep trying the old parenting model, and keep experiencing the same old cycle of rejection, resentment, resignation, and retaliation…

Or you can try a new approach and feel calmer, more confident, and more empowered in your parenting, all while creating a healthier connection and trust-based relationship with your teen. The choice is up to you.

And with a 30-day, no questions asked guarantee, the only thing left is to click below to get started!

REGISTRATION IS OPEN (But not for long!)

Use code EARLYBIRD200 before midnight PST January 20th to save!

6 Monthly Payments

$299.50

Single Payment

$1,697

Upgrade to VIP For a Private Coaching Experience

6 Monthly Payments

$384.48

Single Payment

$2,197

And with a 30-day, no questions asked guarantee, the only thing left is to click below to get started!

Katina’s Story:

Before the pandemic, Katina’s son was a fun-loving, athletic fifteen year old who did well in school and was very involved in his soccer club. When Covid hit his soccer club was cancelled and he was getting involved with a group of friends who were less than desirable.

Her son started lying, sneaking out, and using weed as a way to cope with his emotions. Katina tried everything she knew: discipline, punishment, taking away privileges, lectures, begging, threats, ultimatums… The situation continued to get worse.

One year ago Katina enrolled in my 8-week Empowered Parent Mastermind program. She uncovered generational parenting beliefs that were fueling negative patterns, and learned to understand her son’s emotional needs without losing herself in the process.
Four months later, her son was back to playing soccer, no longer lying or sneaking out, and had lowered his use of marijuana. They were developing more open, honest conversations and he was even hugging her in front of his friends!

Six months later they hit a bump in the road and she found marijuana in his room again. But this time, she confronted him in a way with low conflict and no drama. Although he was angry and silent at first, Katina held her ground and he came to her three days later and he told her he wanted to quit.

Ten months later, her son approached her and said he saw his friends as a negative influence he no longer wanted to be part of. His grades were back up and he was continuing to excel at soccer.

Change requires proven strategies and tools, expert support and encouragement, and commitment to daily baby steps as you rebuild trust, respect, and connection in your relationship with your teen.

This program offers self tested, client proven strategies to create positive change faster than continuing to struggle on your own. Remember, until now, there’s been no training for this!

Upcoming program info:

When: Module 1 opens online Monday January 23rd and the first LIVE Zoom Q&A is Thursday January 26th at 4:30pm PST/7:30pm EST

Where: Weekly Q&A calls happen on Zoom (all calls are recorded and you have lifetime access to them). Weekly modules are released on my website. Questions are asked and answered in my private Facebook Community

FAQ

What makes this program different from all the others out there?

I was your teen. I lied, snuck out, drank, partied, then gave up on school and eventually myself. Through decades of therapy, healing, and learning, I learned research based tools and strategies to change my own parenting and completely change my relationship with my sons. This isn’t theory or fluff. I’m sharing what I desperately wanted as a teen, the frustration and heartbreak I felt as a parent and the transformation that’s possible for you too.

This sounds intensive. How much time will it take?

In an average of 20 minutes/day, you’ll easily cover all the content in the modules and get what you need from the weekly Zoom calls. With lifetime access you don’t have to worry about falling behind because this is YOUR program!

How is the VIP option different?

What if you had a professional in your pocket, every day for 8 weeks to help you in real time with your teen? That’s what you get with the VIP option using a free app called Voxer. You can voice or text message me anytime and I’ll respond as quickly as possible during business hours. If you’re not a Facebook user or aren’t comfortable with group Zoom calls and want direct access to me using a messaging app, this is definitely for you!

How is this different from individual coaching sessions?

Individual coaching sessions are more fluid with less beginning and end. The Empowered Parent Mastermind has a clear, 8 week path with in-depth information on specific topics most commonly undermining your relationship with your teen. You’ll be in this program with other caring, courageous parents as a support system, rather than individual sessions with me.

Where do I find the weekly modules?

The weekly, online modules are available via my website. After you register, your welcome email will have a link and instruction video to create your personal login for lifetime access.

How do the weekly Q&A sessions work?

In your welcome email, you’ll find a Zoom link that you and your cohort will use for the full 8 week program, with a set time and day each week. In order to create space for each person, I ask you to post details of your challenge or specific questions in the private Facebook community (or send it via email) so when it’s your turn, I can provide the most relevant insight and tools. This is your program so you can ask anything, not just about that week’s module. Everyone gets equal time and you’re free to go after you turn, or stay and learn more from what other parents are working on.

Can my partner or co-parent take the program too?

Absolutely! I highly encourage both parents to participate to create a team in this change process. You’ll both use the same login to access the online modules, however you both have personal Facebook profiles in the private community and login to the group Zoom calls separately.

Where do I find the private community?

My private parenting community is hosted on Facebook and not available on any other platform. You’ll find the link and instruction video in your welcome email after you register.

What if I can’t keep up and fall behind?

You have lifetime access to all the content so there’s no need to stress about falling behind. Whether you chip away in 20 minutes/day or have a weekend binge session, you decide what works for you and I’ll be there to help in the private community and on the weekly Zoom calls.

What if I’m not happy with the program?

No problem. The Empowered Parent Mastermind comes with a 30 day, no questions asked, full money back guarantee (valid from the day of purchase) with no forms to fill out so there’s no risk.

Which is why if you’re still reading, it’s time to act. What do you have to lose? You deserve to feel appreciated and respected and your teen needs you now more than ever.