Do you consider FINE an acceptable answer to the ‘How are you doing?’, ‘How are things going?’ questions? How often do you use FINE to avoid risking and revealing the truth of what’s really going on? FINE is one of the most widely accepted cop-outs and four letter words that so many of us use to hide in a facade of fake, superficial and void of feeling.
Most people use the answer FINE to avoid being a burden on others, or being a downer, so they perpetuate the facade and say what they think other’s want to hear. They don’t want to take up time or talk their ear off so they simpy use FINE as an acknowledgement of the question. The truth is, by being authentic and letting people in you’ll most likely find compassion, support, curiosity, empathy and love, not judgement or ridicule.
I attended two funerals in two months last fall, and am so tired of people being in the world feeling so desperately lonely, and hiding in the facade of FINE when really, they are breaking inside, and their world is starting to fall apart in ways they can no longer hide.
We maintain distance with each other using FINE, to avoid feeling judged, being hurt and continue to look outside of ourselves for love, joy and acceptance.
A search that is as empty as it is endless. Those basic experiences are a gift you give yourself first, and allow others to compliment what only you can start.
FINE acronyms –
Feeling
Insecure
Numb
Empty
Fabulous
Intelligent
Nice
Exceptional
conFINEment – keeing myself hostage in my thoughts, restricted to my own perspective, alone
Why not use the authentic words and tell the truth, rather than have the listener make up which one you mean? Open your mouth and let the words fall out.
This is a two-way street! If you want more acceptance in your life, with more authenticity and safety to be real and honest, then be prepared to offer the same to those around you. Are you hearing FINE because you have quickly judged their answer in the past? Give others the same space you would like and see what happens.
I just past the eight year mark of my business and I have not always been FINE. The last few years have been really challenging and I have been working my guts out in long hours to transition my network after moving provinces and taking a hard look at my business model. I’ve been exhausted often, too tired to make a video. I’ve been feeling like the fly on the window – wanting outside so badly as it spends hours buzzing away, bashing it’s body against an unseen barrier to get outside, until it tires and eventually dies on the sill. I have been asking for more help than ever in all areas of my business and reaching out to trusted colleagues and friends. I’ve been taking courses and looking at myself. What are my beliefs and which ones are in my way of more joy, ease and having the life I want?
Just because I do video blogs, send out newsletters and have a web site, please do not make up that I am always FINE and without tough challenges. Don’t worry, I’m not teatering on the edge!! Business, and life, are on the upswing and I’ve learned that reaching out and telling my truth, my fears, my doubts, are crucial to growth.
Please, please, stop hiding behind the facade of FINE. Please, I beg you, risk, be authentic and let people in. Show yourself as you truly are on your journey to awesome and let the world love you. The reward is soooooo much better than FINE will ever be, and you are worth it.
Leave me a comment below and share your thoughts on the facade of FINE. If your FINE is not what you would like it to be, contact me now to set up your FREE consultation and get on your way to awesome!
Read my client testimonials to see what coaching can do you for you. Still not sure? Take me for coffee and try it out (and remember I don’t buy your FINE!).
