The Empowered Parent Mastermind
HOW TO create a respectful, honest relationship with your teen WITHOUT bending over backwards, EVEN IF everything you’ve tried so far isn’t working…
Does this sound familiar?
You’re exhausted and drained:
Trying to avoid your teen’s hormonal land mines AND manage everything else on your plate has you ready to throw up your hands and waive the white flag.
You’re frustrated and at your wits end:
Every day you go out of your way to be kind or help your teen in some way and you feel like you get crapped on. You feel used and taken for granted.
You’re sad and scared:
You miss your caring, loving child. You don’t understand who they’ve become, you can’t seem to reach them and the rejection is heartbreaking.
You’re feeling like a bad parent:
How did this happen? You’re doing everything you can without seeing any change, and still feel like a failure.
You’re not sure what the future holds:
What if your teen keeps going on this path? What if their unhealthy coping and negative influences drown out your voice of reason, creating lasting consequences?
You’re feeling angry:
You’re wondering, “Am I supposed to be ok with being treated so disrespectfully? When do I get to say it’s enough?” There’s either yelling or silence and you’re filled with resentment.
If any of this resonates with you, you’re in the right place.
Parenting Doesn’t Come With A Handbook…
Everywhere you look, you see unrealistic examples of what parenting “should” look like. Disney movies, classic sitcoms, even social media… all perpetuating a fairy-tale version of an unattainable standard. It’s hard not to compare yourself and feel like you’re falling short.
Parenting is the most consequential job you’ll ever have for which there’s ZERO training. No wonder it feels impossible!
There was no memo warning you of the massive growth and development about to take place in your teen’s brain, hijacking their emotions and turning them into someone you don’t know and some days, don’t like. So if you’re struggling with parenting your teen, the problem isn’t that you’re a failure, or a bad parent.
The problem is you’re working from an outdated model.
You’re Parenting How You Were Parented…
Your parents—God bless them—weren’t equipped with all we know today. Back then, they didn’t know about the teenage brain and healthy relationship dynamics. They were doing the best they could with the little information they had.
This outdated model was based on an industrial, military style that science has proven to be ineffective and sometimes harmful, even if “it worked for you” and “you turned out ok”. Without realizing it, you’re repeating what your parents taught you, and don’t understand why the relationship with your teen feels so hard.
You were raised to believe compliance equals respect, and a parent’s job is to hold power over their child via control rather than connection.
You worry about being too permissive and losing control, so you focus on changing your teen’s behaviour, all while missing the actual problem.
Focusing on controlling their behaviour is like trying to put out a fire by chasing the smoke.
Now we know there’s another way. Research has proven that emotional safety, meaningful conversations, and true belonging are three pillars to creating a healthy relationship and increasing influence with your teen without resorting to the control and compliance method.
It’s okay if you’re sceptical. Keep reading before deciding this isn’t for you.
What if you:
Felt needed → Your teen values your input and comes to you for help to overcome their challenges
Felt heard → Your teen does what you asked without the nagging and reminding, and even takes initiative
Had meaningful conversations → Your teen openly and calmly shares their thoughts and feelings to process what’s going on for them because they feel safe with you
Felt appreciated → Your teen recognizes and appreciates what you do for them sending emoji ‘love texts’, and responds to questions with more than one word
Heard positive comments → Other parents, teachers, and family compliment you on your teen’s character, communication skills and behaviour choices
Felt valued → Your teen is engaged with your family and spends quality time without feeling like it’s torture
This is possible! It all starts with understanding the three pillars.
You’ll Find Them Here…
Create Emotional Safety
- Respond over react so you feel less stressed and exhausted
- Manage your teen’s outbursts without fueling further conflict
- Be a trusted advisor your teen feels safe to share with
Generate Meaningful Conversations
- Use fewer words to get your point across before your teen tunes you out
- Ask specific questions to better understand your teen and what’s driving their behaviour
- Help your teen make better choices even if it’s not what you would do
Foster True Belonging
- Accept your teen’s need to express their independence through their own developing values and beliefs without having them drive disconnection
- Allow space for your teen to disagree even when their delivery leaves something to be desired
- Learn to walk with your teen on their path, in their timing, in spite of the challenges that show up
Hi, I’m Aly Pain
I know firsthand what it’s like to be a teen in a well-meaning family, all while feeling disconnected, unloved, and angry. I started using diet pills at 12, drinking at 13, skipping school at 15 and attempted suicide by 17, going from straight A’s to failing out.
I acted out in all sorts of ways, not knowing how to communicate my feelings or ask for what I needed in a way my family could hear me—my parents weren’t equipped to understand or help me.
I marched myself into therapy at 18 and spent decades learning to build confidence, find a sense of calm, and turn down the constant choir of negative messages in my head.
When I became a parent, I wanted our children to feel loved and celebrated, to be polite and compliant, and I never wanted to raise my voice or a hand. I basically wanted to be Mary Poppins……Then I realized, “Holy crap! This is hard!”
I was constantly dealing with anxiety and fear, wanting to control my children while expecting unattainable perfection and compliance. All this while dealing with a child who has diagnosed anxiety disorders at 8 years old.
It was during my Life and Relationship Systems Coaching Training that I finally learned how dysfunctional relationship patterns are created, AND how to untangle and heal from them. I took ownership of my pain rather than throwing it back at my parents and realized I was both part of the problem and the solution.
As I healed myself, I implemented tools that once felt complicated and awkward, becoming a healthy parent with a new level of awareness and skills. My relationship with our boys became easier and less frustrating with less need for consequences.
Our boys are now compassionate young men who lead with strong values. They’re confident in their abilities and supported with healthy friendships. They’re certainly not perfect, yet they take responsibility for their actions and clearly and respectfully communicate their thoughts and feelings. I’m proud of them and the relationships we’ve created.
Today, I’ve become a trusted guest expert for numerous publications and podcasts, including Breakfast Television Toronto, ABC Nightly News, What She Said Talk Radio, the New York Post online and most recently, The Rachael Ray Show.
I call on my experience, knowledge and education to empower families to effectively communicate and connect in healthy, lasting relationships without the emotional pain, conflict and trauma.
This process has been successful with so many parents over the last 15 years, and I know it can work for you too.
You’ve Been Asking Yourself The Wrong Question
Every single day parents ask me: “How do I motivate my teen?”
I’ve got bad news for you: no matter how hard you try, you can’t make your teen care about anything. Motivation is an inside job and only they can make the mental shift to prioritize school work, cleaning their room, etc.
The more you try to make your teen care about what’s important to you, the more they’ll resist even if it’s in their best interest. You’ll feel resentful and disappointed and your teen will feel judged and like a failure with less desire to try at all.
Maybe you’re thinking, “But I can’t trust my teen to do what’s required…if I don’t push and stay on top of them they’ll fail out, won’t get into good schools, won’t have a good job and will end up homeless, living under a bridge.”
Your fears are understandable, because you see your child’s potential and want what’s best for them!
Although it seems counterintuitive, supporting your teen to change rather than forcing change is key to creating the connection that gets you the result you wanted in the first place.
This doesn’t mean you’re solely responsible for what’s not working. You can be the leader in positive change without it being your fault things are the way they are. Blame serves no one—and waiting for your teen to change isn’t the answer. A u can do is adjust your part in the relationship and watch how your teen begins to shift as well.
This is a great place for the comment of ‘and waiting for your teen to change isn’t the answer’ or something
Adjusted this line
It Can’t Be That Easy… Can It?
Of course not! Nothing in parenting is easy, and I’ll never say this program is an “easy” solution, however it is a proven one. Your beliefs about parenting are deeply ingrained from childhood, and it can feel challenging to unlearn them.
It’s not impossible-–parents in my programs do it every day, and it only takes one person to change a relationship. The problem right now is you’re assuming that one person needs to be your teen.
But they’re the one acting out and being awful! Are you saying I’ve been parenting all wrong?
No! You’re doing the best you can with the information you’ve been given. Your child’s behaviour is never a reflection of your worth as a human being, and I don’t conflate parenting with morality. You get enough parent shaming in the world, so you won’t find it here. In the Empowered Parent Mastermind you’ll only find empathy, validation, and encouragement from me and your fellow participants, and a firm no “advice/you should…”’ policy.
Isn’t this teaching parents how to raise snowflakes? Sounds like my teen will have no rules, no accountability, and I'm supposed to give them whatever they want!
Not at all. That style of parenting is referred to as “permissive parenting,” where teens have little to no accountability or responsibility. Although I resist labels or categories, this program would fall under the respectful or gentle parenting genre. Teens will still experience boundaries, consequences and learn respectful communication and behaviour, but the emphasis is on building trust and understanding rather than creating more discipline (which never works).
I’m already exhausted, and it feels like I’ve tried everything. Why should I give more?
I hear you, I know what it feels like to think you have nothing left to give. This program is about shifting your thinking and using a new approach: connection over control. I’ll show you how to set healthy boundaries and limits so you don’t keep feeling like you have nothing left while your teen keeps taking.
Don’t Take My Word For It:
Here are real stories from parents who’ve transformed their relationship with their teens using my proven strategies and tools.
Your challenges may not be the same as Lacey and S’s, yet the transformation can be just as powerful. It starts with an open mind and checking your parenting ego at the door.
By The End Of The Program You’ll:
The Empowered Parent Mastermind is my proven, step-by-step program in a supportive, judgement-free community where you’ll learn how to have a respectful, honest relationship with your teen, even if everything you’ve tried isn’t working.
Exactly What You’ll Get:
Every Monday, you’ll access a new online module including a video, audio only and transcript, a downloadable worksheet, and additional resources covering the following topics:
- Generational and parenting beliefs
- Personality styles and love languages
- Setting boundaries and holding consequences
- Trust, lying, and forgiveness
- Toxic communication and conflict resolution
- Big emotions and mental health
- Teen relationships, dating, and sex
- Social media, gaming, and smartphones
The best conversations happen between sessions in my supportive and judgement free Facebook Group where you’ll hear from other caring parents and gain insight on what’s working (and what’s not). I’ll respond to your posts or questions daily so you get answers when you need them, plus I’ll be LIVE in this community twice each month to provide more detailed and personalized answers.
During the program, you’re invited to 8 weekly LIVE Zoom calls with me and your cohort to deepen your understanding of the tools and how to apply them directly to your situation. You’ll feel celebrated in your wins, and encouraged in your struggles knowing you aren’t alone in a confidential, safe community.
That’s right, it’s all yours for life! The teen years are a roller coaster with good days and hard ones. With lifetime access to ALL online content - modules, resources, and Zoom recordings, you’ll always have a place to come back to when things feel challenging, or when your younger children reach the teen years.
No matter what you're learning style is, I have you covered. The workbook has all the materials you need to follow along, deepen your learning, understand the tools and take notes. Your workbook becomes your personal resource whenever you need it.
You’ll also receive additional tools and resources to help guide your communications during and after the program. These are fun, easy to understand and use to continue to foster positive change and growth in your relationship with your teen.
You get ALL of my top recommendations for books, articles, social channels to follow and more. It’s basically 20+ years of research and education that I have learned, right at your fingertips.
Once you’ve developed this new skillset, the benefits last a lifetime. Even though the teen years don’t last forever, your relationship will because of the solid foundation you’ve created.
Is this for you?
WHO IS THIS PROGRAM FOR?
WHO THIS IS NOT FOR...
This program does not qualify as therapy or personal coaching. The Empowered Parent Mastermind is a group program for caring and courageous parents wanting to create meaningful connection and a healthy relationship with their teens. This program is not specific to any neurodivergence such as ADHD, ASD, ODD, etc., and is not a substitute for addiction therapy or substance use intervention.
No More Wondering… “Is This As Good As It Gets?”
You can keep trying the old parenting model, and keep experiencing the same old cycle of rejection, resentment, resignation, and retaliation…
Or you can try a new approach and feel calmer, more confident, and more empowered in your parenting, all while creating a healthier connection and trust-based relationship with your teen. The choice is up to you.
And with a 90-day, no questions asked guarantee, the only thing left is to click below to get started!
REGISTRATION IS OPEN (But not for long!)
6 Monthly Payments
Before the pandemic, Katina’s son was a fun-loving, athletic fifteen year old who did well in school and was very involved in his soccer club. When Covid hit his soccer club was cancelled and he was getting involved with a group of friends who were less than desirable.
Her son started lying, sneaking out, and using weed as a way to cope with his emotions. Katina tried everything she knew: discipline, punishment, taking away privileges, lectures, begging, threats, ultimatums… The situation continued to get worse.
One year ago Katina enrolled in my 8-week Empowered Parent Mastermind program. She uncovered generational parenting beliefs that were fueling negative patterns, and learned to understand her son’s emotional needs without losing herself in the process.
Four months later, her son was back to playing soccer, no longer lying or sneaking out, and had lowered his use of marijuana. They were developing more open, honest conversations and he was even hugging her in front of his friends!
Six months later they hit a bump in the road and she found marijuana in his room again. But this time, she confronted him in a way with low conflict and no drama. Although he was angry and silent at first, Katina held her ground and he came to her three days later and he told her he wanted to quit.
Ten months later, her son approached her and said he saw his friends as a negative influence he no longer wanted to be part of. His grades were back up and he was continuing to excel at soccer.
Change requires proven strategies and tools, expert support and encouragement, and commitment to daily baby steps as you rebuild trust, respect, and connection in your relationship with your teen.
This program offers self tested, client proven strategies to create positive change faster than continuing to struggle on your own. Remember, until now, there’s been no training for this!
Upcoming program info:
When: Module 1 opens online Monday September 26th and the first LIVE Zoom Q&A is Thursday September 29th at 4:30pm PST/7:30pm EST
Where: Weekly Q&A calls happen on Zoom. Weekly modules are released on my website. Questions are asked and answered in my private Facebook Community
I was your teen. I lied, snuck out, drank, partied, then gave up on school and eventually myself. Through decades of therapy, healing, and learning, I learned research based tools and strategies to change my own parenting and completely change my relationship with my sons. This isn’t theory or fluff. I’m sharing what I desperately wanted as a teen, the frustration and heartbreak I felt as a parent and the transformation that’s possible for you too.
In an average of 20 minutes/day, you’ll easily cover all the content in the modules and get what you need from the weekly Zoom calls. With lifetime access you don’t have to worry about falling behind because this is YOUR program!
What if you had a professional in your pocket, every day for 8 weeks to help you in real time with your teen? That’s what you get with the VIP option using a free app called Voxer. You can voice or text message me anytime and I’ll respond as quickly as possible during business hours. If you’re not a Facebook user or aren’t comfortable with group Zoom calls and want direct access to me using a messaging app, this is definitely for you!
Individual coaching sessions are more fluid with less beginning and end. The Empowered Parent Mastermind has a clear, 8 week path with in-depth information on specific topics most commonly undermining your relationship with your teen. You’ll be in this program with other caring, courageous parents as a support system, rather than individual sessions with me.
The weekly, online modules are available via my website. After you register, your welcome email will have a link and instruction video to create your personal login for lifetime access.
In your welcome email, you’ll find a Zoom link that you and your cohort will use for the full 8 week program, with a set time and day each week. In order to create space for each person, I ask you to post details of your challenge or specific questions in the private Facebook community (or send it via email) so when it’s your turn, I can provide the most relevant insight and tools. This is your program so you can ask anything, not just about that week’s module. Everyone gets equal time and you’re free to go after you turn, or stay and learn more from what other parents are working on.
If you can’t make the Zoom call, post your question in the private community or send it to me through email and I’ll share my perspective and specific tools so you can watch the recording on your schedule.
Absolutely! I highly encourage both parents to participate to create a team in this change process. You’ll both use the same login to access the online modules and you can both have personal Facebook profiles in the private community.
My private parenting community is hosted on Facebook and not available on any other platform. You’ll find the link and instruction video in your welcome email after you register.
You have lifetime access to all the content so there’s no need to stress about falling behind. Whether you chip away in 20 minutes/day or have a weekend binge session, you decide what works for you and I’ll be there to help in the private community and on the weekly Zoom calls.
No problem. The Empowered Parent Mastermind comes with a 90 day, no questions asked, full money back guarantee (valid from the day of purchase) with no forms to fill out so there’s no risk.
Which is why if you’re still reading, it’s time to act. What do you have to lose? You deserve to feel appreciated and respected and your teen needs you now more than ever.