Become a Boundaries Boss

What if there was a way to get your child to do what you asked the first time, so you don’t end up doing it yourself…. Again?!

You’ve tried tough love, soft love, and everything in between to get your child to do as you asked but nothing is working and you’re at your wits end!

No matter how nicely or how many times you ask, simple tasks aren’t getting done. The constant reminding is annoying and exhausting but it’s the only way to get your teen to complete anything. Well, that and taking their phone 🙄

Sometimes it’s just easier to do things yourself but you know that’s not teaching your teen the life skills they need, let alone caring about and for their living space.

It’s not you, it’s an outdated model.

If you’re like me, your parents wanted strict compliance to their beliefs and values through explicit expectations that required you to deny, abandon or supress what was true for you to earn their love and approval. These expectations may have felt unrealistic, leaving you feeling like a failure even if you were trying your best.

“We’re not angry, we’re just disappointed…”

Enforcing these expectations meant using fear-based control methods to get you back in line quickly.

Just to be clear: your parents weren’t evil, or bad—no one taught them otherwise.

Now as you apply this old model to your own teen, it only escalates the conflict,  deepening the power struggle eroding respect. Plus, your teen only falls in line to get back the privileges they lost.

What’s worse is they keep making these poor choices, and you feel like you’re playing whack-a-mole trying to discipline them into changing their behaviour.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Your teen’s behaviour is like a boiling pot. The burner underneath is the emotion that’s driving the behaviour, and the only place lasting change happens.

You can either use expectations to hold the lid on the boiling pot, or you can use boundaries to help turn the burner down. You choose.

Boundaries are an emotional currency used to communicate respectful limits of what’s okay and not okay in your household that increase understanding and respect. They increase connection and understanding, and foster accountability.

That sounds good, but….

What if they still don’t do it?”

“If I don’t use punishment or discipline, then how are they gonna learn?”

Connect before you correct.

Setting the boundary is the first step. The second and equally important part of this proven process is my Compassionate Consequence Formula.

This is my step-by-step process, filled with specific scripts to connect with your teenager and address their behaviour in a way that increases mutual respect so they’re more apt to change.

“So I just let them get away with it?”

No. You’re both equal in deserving respect. You’re not equal in authority.

If your teen is pushing back on your boundary, this process walks you through balancing those relational tools while dramatically decreasing the need for consequences in the first place.

It’s about shifting your mindset as much as it’s about shifting your teenager’s behaviour.

All week I’ve been using the calmer approach, making simple requests. Last night we all sat down for a family meeting and explained we’ll ask them a request respectfully and give them a specific time frame to complete it. I set a boundary and asked all the kids to please tidy their rooms by 6pm on Sunday evening. I woke up this morning to my daughter who had tidied her room through the night all by herself!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!
- Lisa D.

Just Imagine

Made some specific requests….they were completed without argument. Only made them once. ONCE! They all did it!
- Kim O.J.

Hi, I’m Aly

I’m Aly Pain…

Growing up, I was the smart, fun girl on the outside and a frantic, anxious mess on the inside. I spent years healing the pain of dysfunctional family relationships, including eating disorders and a suicide attempt, to break the cycle raising my own teen boys.

It honestly boggles my brain we’re not teaching fundamental relationship skills like boundaries in schools. I was never taught about them—I didn’t even realize I could set one until I was married with kids!

I knew I wanted something different but I didn’t know how. I had to learn how to shift from using compliance and control to using tools and strategies like healthy boundaries and consequences with my sons.

My husband and I were shocked how few consequences were required in the teen years and the honesty and connection we created along the way. It wasn’t always easy to let go and support our boys to find their own way.

We had to unlearn lessons from our childhood, like the need for control and stiff punishments. We focused on finding a workable middle ground with our teens when we didn’t agree so even if we didn’t change our minds, they felt heard and respected the boundary.

In my Become a Boundaries Boss program, I’ve put together the top 4 lessons I learned in years of therapy, coach training, raising two boys, and helping thousands of parents just like you to ditch the frustration and resentment to set clear boundaries so you feel heard the first time.

Plus, using my Compassionate Consequence Formula, you’ll get my step-by-step process and specific scripts to have calmer conversations about your teen’s transgressions without resorting to punishment or control.

 

You’ll Know Exactly…

  • Break down common misconceptions about behavioural corrections you were raised with, and the unintended consequences of these unhealthy relationship tools
  • Release the need to use fear as leverage
  • Act from a place of respect for yourself and your teen, knowing you’re different people with different values
  • Let go of guilt about asking for what you need or removing privileges
  • Learn to step back and let your teen step up
  • Find compassion for your teen’s learning curve as they develop new skills, letting go of them doing it “your way”
  • Identify what’s not working, clearly communicate your limits, and walk through a consequence that supports behaviour change as you connect with your teen
Well, I set up a time to talk to my son about boundaries. I must have done it right because when we were done I said, ‘So, is there anything else you want to talk about?’ and he openly told me about an incident that happened at school. I was able to connect and realised he didn’t need a ‘consequence’ because he was already learning and growing from the situation. Yay!! I don’t know if we could’ve had this conversation a week ago!!
- Keri L.

Click below to Become a Boundaries Boss TODAY for only $149!

You’ll get access to…

  • Two sections: boundaries and consequences
  • Audio only versions included
  • Transcripts
  • Available for you to download anytime, also with lifetime access
  • Get on-demand answers and support in my small private Facebook community
  • I’ll help you apply the program content to your specific situation in two Facebook LIVES, so you get results faster.
  • TikToks, videos and articles that further illustrate and explain the concepts so you can implement them quickly in your relationship with your teen. 

No more feeling hopeless or throwing up your hands wanting to move out. This program offers simple, proven tools that change how you approach boundaries and consequences to increase respect and connection without the nagging, arguing, and exhausting blow ups.

It is possible…

I guarantee it!

I believe in the proven content in this program so much I guarantee it 100%. That’s a no questions asked, full money back guarantee in the first 30 days after your purchase.

So if you’re sick of the frustration, the resentment, the nagging…

You can start building respect and connection with your teen today for $149 and get lifetime access to powerful tools and strategies anytime you need them.

This one really hit hard with me. My childhood was constant threats and ultimatums with almost everything and I’ve tried not to do this with my kids. The way you explained the healthy boundaries was perfect. Thank you so much for helping me see and implement a new way
- A.H.J.

FAQ’s

The pre-recorded, online program is available 24/7 via my website. After you register in the program, you’ll receive a welcome email with a link and instruction video to create your personal login for lifetime access.

Included in the Become a Boundaries Boss program, you’ll get 4 weeks access to my supportive and judgement free private Facebook Group. I’ll respond to your posts or questions daily so you get answers when you need them, plus I’ll be LIVE in this community twice each month to provide more detailed and personalised answers. You’ll also hear from other caring parents and gain insight on what’s working (and what’s not).

My private parenting community is hosted on Facebook and not available on any other platform. You’ll find the link in your welcome email after you register, along with an instruction video on how to find what you need.

Absolutely! I highly encourage both parents to participate to work as a team in this change process. You’ll both use the same login to access the online program and one personal Facebook profile in the private community. If you’d both like to participate in the private community under your own Facebook profiles, you can purchase a monthly subscription.

I was your teen. I lied, snuck out, drank, partied, then gave up on school and eventually myself. Through decades of therapy, healing, and learning, I learned research based tools and strategies to change my own parenting and completely change my relationship with my sons. This isn’t theory or fluff. I’m sharing what I desperately wanted as a teen, the frustration and heartbreak I felt as a parent and the transformation that’s possible for you too.

No problem. The Become a Boundaries Boss Program comes with a 30 day no questions asked, full money back guarantee (valid from the day of purchase) with no forms to fill out so there’s no risk.

What’s stopping you? If you’ve read this far and you’re looking for answers to turn things around with your teen, this is your chance. What’s the risk in trying something new?